Hello Friends,

As I am settling into my morning and thinking about what I am going to study in my Bible this morning, I am struck by the experience I had yesterday during communion at my church.  Communion is always special to me. I believe it should be to everyone but yesterday seemed extra special.  I believe it was because I was completely focused on the forgiveness Jesus demonstrates every day.  I was reminded of Corrie Ten Boom’s truth that forgiveness isn’t stored up or hoarded.  It is given fresh, new, and in abundance every time we need it.

This truth of an ever-present supply of forgiveness caused me to realize that many times I use forgiveness like it is in short supply.  I apply just enough to get me through the situation but not enough to erase it from the marker it holds in my mind.  By this I mean that instead of applying forgiveness completely so that the instance or situation doesn’t any longer hold any power over me, I  apply just enough to get it out of my working memory but marking a spot in my mind so when something goes a little off with that person or situation again, the rage, hurt, and frustration comes roaring back with even more force than when it had previously appeared.  It is a kind of pseudo forgiveness.  One that gives me pride in my ability to move through the moment but leads to far more destruction later.

What causes that behavior?  I believe it is because we know it is God’s will to forgive but we just aren’t willing to give up our right to be angry or mad.  I believe the root of this problem is pride.  Scripture tells us that pride goes before a fall.  So, you can be sure that packing up your hurt, anger, and resentment isn’t moving it out of your life.  This pseudo forgiveness isn’t forgiveness at all.  It is storing it and putting off dealing with it in the moment.  My friend forgiveness can’t be stored.  It must be applied immediately, fully, and with assurance that God’s grace is sufficient.  It must be distributed freely and every time the need arises.  We must demonstrate God’s heart in us by living as God lives.  We must apply forgiveness with the same unconditional mercy that Jesus bestows upon us daily.

We want to be forgiven but we don’t want to forgive.  We understand when we need mercy, grace, and forgiveness but when someone else needs it we simply stamp them as mean, terrible, and without any redeeming qualities.  Oh, today, I pray that I live with the mentality that forgiveness is fresh, new, and abundant.  I pray that I live freely forgiving, totally loving, and forever being transformed into His likeness. Remember you are loved.  Jesus loves you.

In His service,
Kimmy